Canadian Sermon Types

Pastor Neil Young (what else! Yes that's his name!) who is the minister at Erindale United Church in Mississauga Ontario came up with these various styles of sermon common in the Greatest Nation on Earth. These classifications might help my Scottish congregation understand their expat priest a little better. Thanks to the blog Out of Ur for these:

The Maple Syrup: Boils source material down to about 1/50th its starting volume.

The Mountie: When it's most dressed-up, it doesn't arrest anybody.

The Igloo: Goes 'round and 'round until a final capstone is dropped in.

The Curling: Kind of incomprehensible, but everybody seems to have a good time.

The Lacrosse: Fast, hard-hitting, and it's hard to see the points as they're made.

The Hockey Fight: Staggers unsteadily, swinging wildly, but lands a punch or two.

The Canadian: Overly apologetic.

The Snowmobile: Loud and a bit obnoxious, but takes you places you otherwise wouldn't go.

The Beaver: Dams everything in sight.

The Maple Leaf: Has 11 points; always ends up falling to the ground.